Adult entertainer and porn star Stormy Daniels alleges in her upcoming book that the President of the United States has “Yeti pubes,” and his penis reminded her of a Mario Kart character…
Oh, you know, just another normal day in Donald Trump‘s presidency!!!!
The Guardian obtained an advance copy of Daniels’ book Full Disclosure this week (available for pre-order now, copies hit stores on October 2), and in addition to a LOT of other scandalous and salacious stories from the porn star, there’s one thing that really sticks out: Trump’s penis is apparently, uh, weird…
In one passage in the book, Daniels wrote about the President’s little buddy in excruciating detail (below):
“He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool… I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a d*ck like the mushroom character in Mario Kart… It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”
Uh… WHAT. THE. F*CK?!?!?!
That’s the most disgusting thing we can possibly imagine! Definitely didn’t need that mental image this morning!! And don’t even want to think about what Trump will tweet in response to this!!!
**Runs to bathroom to vomit violently**
Now that you know this information, just be glad you didn’t check the “Mario Kart” or “Toad” trending Twitter tag to expect something Nintendo related, but be hit with this…
*me after searching “Mario Kart” on twitter* pic.twitter.com/WLwgxeDAlL
— Brennan (@brennanhimself) September 18, 2018
Me seeing Mario Kart on the Trending page: 'Oh well this doesn't seem too bad'
Me after clicking on Mario Kart on the Trending page: pic.twitter.com/rQecAtseuy
— Jasmin (@ItsJasminHere) September 18, 2018
I just had to look up why Mario Kart was trending… pic.twitter.com/StugWhuzsE
— Scott Hetherington (@srheth) September 18, 2018
me waiting for the rest of the US to wake up to see why mario kart is trending pic.twitter.com/ycKvcEcutB
— David Mack (@davidmackau) September 18, 2018
[Image via WENN.]
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